a Series of 10 — useful discomfort

By my count I am 4 blogs away from having written 500 blogs on my two websites. I thought it might be an interesting idea to write these remaining blogs based on the common threads that have woven themselves through the last 496 I have written — and with that said, “a Series of 10” will continue with a blog on the value of being uncomfortable.

Discomfort is one of my primary life tenets because it’s the primary driver for growth — we are hardwired for challenge and struggle and for all of us, there is no material growth without the discomfort that comes with struggle; be it intellectual, physical or emotional.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy being comfortable but I see it as a place to visit, not a place to live. I keep coming back to that famous quote by Nietzsche, “From the military school of life—what does not kill me makes me stronger” — symbolic as it is, it offers a reference for how to look at discomfort and what you can tolerate and by extension, the growth you can achieve. Don’t shy away from it.

I am not trying to convince you to carry my tenet but I will challenge you to look in the mirror and ask yourself to name a time you experienced material growth when it was easy. I suspect you will be hard pressed to find one.

I would have stopped at this point because the importance of discomfort is a “full stop” in my mind — nothing more needs to be said. With that, I kept thinking about the Situational Leadership model developed by Dr Paul Hersey and Dr Ken Blanchard. It illustrates how discomfort comes into play if you are a leader of people, so I felt I should add a little more on the subject.

In their graphic representation of the model, you’ll see four quadrants representing a person’s skill sets and competencies — there is also a bell curve that moves through the quadrants that illustrates how each quadrant needs to be approached by a leader (see graphic). Anyone who is starting something new finds themselves in the lower left-hand quadrant. It is this quadrant that offers insight into discomfort.

You may not be so enthusiastic on my conviction about discomfort but it’s important to realize that those people in the lower quadrant, although enthusiastic, probably don’t know what they are doing, they’re frustrated with something new and uncomfortable with the struggle ahead. A leader needs to help people navigate through the discomfort (et al) to ensure success — and maybe on the way, recognize and lean into their own discomfort because leaders also need to grow.

At one time, I spent a fair bit of time with people new to the organization, and I was always quick to suggest they get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Those were the days when there was much growth for everyone involved.

It was so much fun.

iamgpe

3 more

I was reminded of change and growth the other day..

If you have ever read anything I've written you will know I do like telling stories, do love a fine metaphor... and a good quote for that matter; with that said, I think it is fair to say you have been forewarned.

Over the past couple of years I have downsized my house into something much smaller in the city, decided to build a boutique consulting shop and have been positioning myself to look at the world with more of an entrepreneurial eye. I am developing a body of work through my blogging and writing and changing myself to look at life differently; a wonderful journey so far. Recently, I had a conversation with someone who did not understand what I was doing, why I was doing it, saw no benefit in what I was doing, suggested it would be more beneficial to go back to what I was doing before it was to late, and measured success with touchstones that were more reflective of a repugnant character than success. 

To all of it I simply said, "This is your problem, not mine".  And if Internet motivational quotes are any indication, I was right.

I was right for many other reasons but go with it.

For a seed to achieve its greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, it's insides come out and everything changes. To someone who doesn't understand growth, it would look like complete destruction.  - Cynthia Occlli

When she transformed into a butterfly, the caterpillars spoke not of her beauty, but of her weirdness. They wanted her to change back into what she always had been.

But she had wings.

- Unknown

As I reflect back on that discussion of change and growth, I was reminded of one last quote that is important as you take those first steps towards growth.

You only need your approval.

Anyone elses is just a bonus.

- Unknown

Remember, I did warn you.

iamgpe