a Series of 10 —the comfort of not deciding

By my count I am 9 blogs away from having written 500 blogs on my two websites. I thought it might be an interesting idea to write these remaining blogs based on the common threads that have woven themselves through the last 491 I have written — and with that said, “a Series of 10” will continue with a blog on decisions.

I am going to argue that making a decision is a binary event — it is either a “yes or no” proposition; any other word, and the dreaded word “maybe” comes to mind, is a flashing red light in my mind. As with all things, there are caveats and I will get to that.

If you have a decision to make, and it doesn’t matter whether your answer is “Yes I will do something” or “No I will not do something”, it subconsciously signals a couple of things to the world:

You have established a vision, goals and objectives. These may be well thought out and easily articulated or maybe something more abstract, not well thought out and unarticulated — but at your core, you have guiding principles. Either way, it signals there is a reason behind your decision.

You are willing to take ownership for your decision. This means you will take responsibility for the decision, will embrace your position, accept the results of the outcome, and where appropriate, drive action.

It also quietly says you are not ruled by the fear of being wrong, are willing to embrace discomfort and are secure enough to expose yourself to criticism.

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” — Teddy Roosevelt

The same characteristics that are involved with decision making and the associated action tend to increase the chances of victory (however your goals have defined it).

Now to the caveats I mentioned earlier:

There is one case that comes to mind where saying maybe is appropriate — similar to when it’s your turn to bet when playing poker, instead of betting you say, “Check”. You are still in the game but by doing this you’re letting the next player decide the bet; you are trying to get a better understanding of the situation before you make your decision. Sometimes you simply need more time and information before you can make a decision so you do nothing — for now. But be cautious, if you wait too long, someone else may make the decision for you.

Also, if your decision is no, it is important to look in the mirror and ask yourself if your decision is based on your goals and objectives. It is fair to say that what you’re deciding on is not important but it’s dangerous to let it mask the fact that you are really afraid, want to avoid responsibility or worried about what others think so say “no” as a default. Ensure when your decision is no, it’s not a result of not wanting to make a decision.

Being the Man in the Arena is uncomfortable but it’s preferable to being in the stands where you are comfortable watching as you indulge the pastime of complaint and criticism. Metaphorically speaking, take that step into the arena because nothing good comes from being too comfortable watching.

iamgpe

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Pro Memoria — Essential Points of Leadership

Maybe it’s the algorithm influencing all my feeds or the broader zeitgeist in general, but I have noticed very few people are talking about leadership — influencers aplenty talking about other things but little about leaders or leadership. Is “influencership” even a word? There may be communities talking about leadership but I’m not getting the newsletter or seeing the blogs. I thought I would offer some thoughts on the essential points of leadership as a flare to catch someone’s attention and get some invitations.

I wanted to mention I wasn’t trying to be pretentious when I titled this blog Pro Memoria — Essential Points of Leadership. I could have easily called it “crib notes” or “a cheat sheet” but leadership is so important that I wanted something that stood out and offered weight (much like the topic). Pro Memoria is derived from Latin and literally means “for memory” and in modern terms means “A memory aid; a reminder or memorandum” — with that said, here are the essential Points for Leadership to get the conversation started.

1) Leadership is as much a philosophy as it is a journey, and it’s about perpetual learning — a case in point, great leaders are always reading about leadership and other things to improve. I suppose that is why Meditations by Marcus Aurelius is considered in the top must reads for anyone interested in leadership. This is not the only step on the journey but one of many.

2) Will you be a Selfish leader or a Selfless leader? If you raise your hand and say you want to be a leader you have to pick a camp. I am not here to tell you which type of leader to be… but there is a saying that goes something like this, “If you want to go fast, go alone; if you want to go far, go together”. My experience is Selfless leaders go far.

3) Leaders are not defined by a title. Everyone and anyone can be a leader — ask all those people that spend their day with lots of responsibility and no authority. A leader by definition is someone who acts like a leader — beautifully circular.

4) Leaders have a vision. And right after that they have goals, objectives and expectations. This becomes even more important the larger the team you are working with gets — effective execution on a vision comes with alignment and everyone involved.

5) Ownership, the ability to make decisions and communication transparency are crucial traits for a successful leader. A leader owns what they do and takes responsibility, makes decisions to help the vision and team progress and is always communicating as honestly as possible to make sure everyone understands, and is clear with what is happening.

6) Leaders encourage others to shine and foster personal and professional growth. An abridged quote by Marianne Williamson reflects what great leaders do:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?

Your playing small does not serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other
people won’t feel insecure around you.

It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.”

7) Leaders create an environment to drive action. I remember listening to a CEO I very much admire — someone was making a pitch for a big idea and his only response was, “Do it”.

8) True leadership skills are forged when it is difficult — it is easy to be a good leader when times are good. You can’t control when your world decides to get hard but you can decide to take on difficult things to practice for when it becomes real.

As I look at my notes, it seems I have landed on 8 points for my Pro Memoria. I appreciate that each of these points are large topics in their own right and there are probably other points that could be added — but remember, this was just intended to be a cheat sheet.

Hopefully it starts up a conversation about Leaders — we can’t let the Influencers win.

iamgpe

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Moments — Love in my heart

I have five days to bench press 200 pounds; it was a goal I set myself back in January when I noticed I could lift 170 pounds with little difficulty — shortly after, while playing outdoor shinny, I fell and jammed my shoulder… which then took six months to recover to a point that my goal seemed achievable again.

As I started to progress and feel the momentum building, I aggravated my other shoulder and tricep. That took six weeks to work through this injury, and as I looked at the calendar, my runway was getting short — and yes, it does scream “metaphor for life” but that’s for another time.

Today I wanted to see how my shoulders were holding up and how close I was to my target — I felt good and slowly progressed as I incrementally added weight to the bar. There comes a point, particularly when you are reaching your limit, when you need a spotter. A spotter is someone who watches over your lift to ensure you don’t crush yourself. In this case, I asked someone I didn’t know to watch and keep my ego from causing undue harm. He was more than happy to help and offered encouragement as I started my lift. I lifted 190 pounds with some help and made a new gym friend. I told him about my target and what I was trying to accomplish, and as he went back to his workout he said, “It’s good to have goals”.

My shoulders felt good and I was optimistic — just 10 more pounds… just 5% more. I only have five days left and as I said before, I’m working with a short runway — very short if truth be told. I will keep it up until the end and we will see.

As I started a light exercise, I caught the eye of another gym dude who smiled, dropped one side of his headphones, came over to bump fists, and said, “Hey”. In our conversation, I asked him if he was ready for 2026 and he looked at me strangely and said that, He only worries about the day he’s in and maybe the day after. “ He then put his hand to his chest and continued, “I live with love in my heart”.

He smiled, bumped my fist again, then went off to continue his workout.

So, with five days left in 2025, today I was reminded that perseverance brings progress, that the world is full of people willing to help and offer encouragement as you make your way, and love is a great energy to carry with you — whatever you happen to be doing.

iamgpe

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